Mothers are women who dedicate their lives with unconditional love to their children
Growing up I used to love Mother’s Day as it was a tradition between my sister and I to make breakfast for our mom, buy her flowers, and make her a card. As I grew older and traveled more, the tradition lessened as I wasn’t physically present, so I would send her flowers or gifts and a card. Plus, I would always call her in the mornings because I knew it brightened her day.
Now, I celebrate Mother’s Day either at the cemetery or spending time with my family; father, brother, and his family. Although she’s gone, we still honor her and click our wine glasses to her memory. It has now been 2 years since she has passed, yet it seems like yesterday when I was cooking for her and watching funny movies. I miss her everyday and am so thankful for her presence in my life. As my mother’s health decreased our roles reversed as I became the caretaker and she received. It was a truly humbling experience for both of us and I am grateful for it.
Choosing to be a mother takes courage, dedication, and unconditional love among many other attributes. These are virtues that become stronger as both you and the child(ren) continue to grow. A mother, doesn’t simply mean biologically speaking as I know many mothers who have adopted, fostered or taken in children through various means.
I may not understand all the trials and tribulations a mother goes through because I have never given birth nor raised a child for long periods of time, yet I have worked with numerous women who are are so burnt out and stressed because they feel they have to be everything for everyone yet have forgotten to take care of themselves or worse, feel guilty because they want personal time.
The closest I have been to being a mother was in my 20s when I helped raise my ex-boyfriend’s young child for the 2 years we were together as the mother was unfit physically and emotionally. Being a mother in this respect and also in my career as a social worker, brought me to a new understanding of mothers, regardless of how children came to be a part of their lives. Now I’m the godmother of my 5 year old nephew and I take seriously the role of being present with him to the best of my abilities with the understanding that I take full responsibility of him in case something happens to my brother and his wife.
I believe the role of mothers or people with mother-like tendencies want to to ensure that the children in their care (teachers count too) are given unconditional love (may not like all that kids do, but love them regardless. Being a mother is one of the most challenging and rewarding roles because it entails taken on numerous responsibilities from meeting all of their needs; physical, mental, spiritual and emotional plus perhaps being a spouse, employee, student, caretaker, etc. Also, I have witnessed it is a role that never ends as children (myself included) usually return home for one reason or another.
As our world has become more industrialized and we require more needs to feel fulfilled, mothers have many more roles than before which is daunting. Most mothers I have seen rely on being superwoman, meaning you take care of it all without much help. However, that soon leads to burnout because you’ve taken on so much on your own without too much support. This can then lead to chronic illness, fatigue, headaches, digestive issues, etc. As the African saying goes,” it takes a village to raise a child,” meaning it takes everyone in the household, external family, and community to help mothers.
“Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare.” Audre Lorde
This mother’s day I challenge you to find ways you can release some of your responsibilities, even for a day or two, and remember what it’s like to be a woman. What are ways you can love yourself unconditionally? Massage? A day to yourself? Chores done by others? Husband cooking and caring for kids? Family meeting to discuss chores delegation? Whatever it is ask for what you want, stop holding back what you truly want to say.
Allow yourself to be pampered by telling those around you what it is that would bring you joy and happiness on this day and everyday. This allows you to receive love and support which offers balance as it is more common within the roles of being a mother to give more than to receive.
Thank you for taking on the responsibility and role of caring for your children, our future, so they may grow up kind, loving, and peaceful into this world. I know you take this role very seriously and I appreciate you for all you do, just as I appreciated my mom while she was present with us.
Book a Healthy Check-In Session with me and let’s discuss how you would like to receive more love and support in your life. I’m here to support you with a step-by-step plan to balance your life, embrace your power, and focus on health.