Suicide, a traumatic loss for all

This time last week I received the most horrific news, my ex-boyfriend committed suicide at his parents’ home. It honestly came as a surprise to all because he had been doing so well on his healing journey. He had served 15 years in the military and a few years ago left the Army due to Post Traumatic Stress. He was in recovery using natural methods such as massage, meditation, essential oils, and was also taking a reasonable amount of prescribed medication. He starred in the documentary, Hidden Enemy about the overuse of prescription medicine in the military.  In October he would have completed a year long massage training program and would have started a massage program for veterans at the school. For reasons unknown to all those who loved him he took his own life.

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For those left behind the trauma of a losing a loved one suddenly is quite shocking. Although I have experienced the loss of numerous family members recently, I was able to prepare for their passing as they passed on due to illnesses and I was by their side as they passed over.

I have worked as a grief counselor and yet nothing could have prepared me for the gut wrenching loss of losing a person I really cared about. Although our romantic relationship ended, our friendship was always consistent and full of love. Following the news I was unable to eat or work for a few days. I felt numb and full of grief.The pain is like a punch in the stomach and just feels dull after a bit. The tears that have flowed and continue to flow have been unlike any I have felt before. I have only just recently began to move forward and return to work as a health coach and energy healer. It is comforting to continue to serve others yet also taking time for myself.

I have been taking care of myself by acknowledging my grief and allowing the tears to fall as needed. I also have spoken to numerous friends and family who have supported me throughout this time. Many have noted my strength which comes from knowing how to ask for help and being present. I also have taken numerous walks along the beach and dips in the ocean to release the sadness. Being in nature is so important to being grounded and present. I am aware of the stages of grief and know I have gone through them numerous times, which is a normal process.

I will continue to reach out to others, receive emotional support and healing, and be grateful for knowing and loving a man who was generous with so many people. I will take this loss as a reason to continue doing the work of supporting others and being present, especially for those who have suffered trauma.

If you have suffered from loss or know of someone who committed suicide please share your story and how you prevailed. Thank you!

Comments 2

  1. Ellie Wood
    August 22, 2015

    Patty – your strength is remarkable and the tools you have given yourself are amazing. You will heal – probably faster and better than any of us could. Hugs

    1. Paty Hernandez
      March 21, 2017

      Oh thank you dear Ellie! I’m inspired to share what I learn so others can feel more supported. Community is what has helped me move forward and embrace each moment.

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